Every human being projects unique behavioural traits based on his/her sun-sign is a given. Every sun sign has its own strengths and weakness which influences a human being’s personality, behaviour, likes, dislikes and a general attitude towards life and people. Not just this, but the planetary positions at the time of a person’s birth can influence a lot more aspects of his life. The way he makes love, his passion and desires are also greatly affected by his sun-sign. Let’s have a look at the naughty horoscopes and their secret to love making.
- Aries (March 21- April 19)
Aries LIVES for head massages. Aries Idea of Heaven Is: Participating in live sex shows for money. Having their favorite human toy win first place in a pony boy/girl race. They secretly crave to be strippers or Annie Sprinkle. The best gift to give an Aries is designer colored nylon rope in their favorite color. They like hair pulling. They like it doggie style especially if they are steering.
- Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Don’t tease them. It will only piss them off. Taureans are realists. Taureans are heavy indulgers, though. All forms of indulgence: Sex-drugs-wine-food…whatever their vice may be: they simply cannot get enough. They do not believe in moderation. Taurus likes to have sex just for the sake of having sex. What they lack in originality, they make up for in stamina and endurance. Taurus uses their tongue for everything. Caution: They are looking for a relationship so be kind to them. They also have a BIG wet thing for scent. Sometimes they don’t want a lover to bathe before sex. Or you may find them shagging in a garden or a greenhouse smelling the dirt: After all, they are earth signs.
- Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
Ever heard the saying “Been there. Done that?” chances are it came from a Gemini. They are always changing; they are the eternal Chameleon. The biggest turn on for a Gemini is: LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION. In the elevator of the mausoleum or Forest Lawn Cemetery during a funeral or wine cellars in nightclubs. They are big on drama. They will take the initiative. Their goal is to make out in the front row of the OSCARS when the cameras pans on them so that they can wave.
- Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
This is the sign that needs to be cuddled. They dwell in the past…Victorian…Roman…Medieval…You name it. This is a sign that is looking for true love…I mean REAL TRUE DEEP LOVE…that ‘Romancing The Stone’ , ‘Wuthering Heights’ kind of love. They love water sports (Jacuzzis/pools/showers/saunas/bathhouses) and highly exhibitionistic. They live for oral as long as it tastes good. They like to play with ice cubes, too.
- Leo (July 23 – Aug 22)
If we could put our pussy cat naked and jewelled in rubies on a dais in a museum; this would be their idea of heaven. Everyone admiring them: Hell, yeah! “WORSHIP ME.” is their motto. If you fuck up just once with a Leo, That’s IT. Don’t be expecting the royalty to take you back. After all they CHOSE you…you screwed up. All the stress in the world ends up in the Leo neck. They need neck rubs and there is a specific spot on their back right above their tailbone that is heaven to them where if touched right will actually make them purr. Leo likes to be on top, that’s a given. They need control. Love to have their hair brushed and played with. They are the naughty school teacher, the pirate captain, the gypsy king and Cleopatra all rolled into one.
- Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
This is the most confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to make out in showers not because it’s kinky, but because of hygienic reasons. They are big into sanitary issues. Virgo’s want to make their partner happy. That’s it. They live to masturbate…whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you…them rubbing against your fox fur coat…whatever! Some Virgo’s want to be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish. Also all Virgo’s like to see Camel Toes. What’s up with that? Sherlock Holmes was probably a Virgo.
- Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 23)
Libra’s are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven’t done in real life; which is rare because they have done almost everything. They are never just one sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. They love to role play and play dress up. But they hate vulgarity. They have more vanity issues than a Gemini. Nothing is too kinky for them.
- Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 21)
Here comes the masters and mistresses of love making. Sorry Leo, but Scorps are the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor. Scorpios know how to seduce. They know what is kinky. They are highly manipulative.
They know how to get you to do what they want. All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you will be on your back assuming the position. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure.
- Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Sagittarius love is being shaved by someone they love. And they love to travel. They are constantly moving. They are always packing and going somewhere. They are the outdoorsy type. Most Sags flash body parts and are closet nudists. They will be the first to register for nude volleyball at the nudist resort. A perfect night for them is to: Talk. Make out. Talk. Make out. Talk. Make out. Male Sags have more fetishes than a female Sag. Female Sags are nature lovers: they Love Kinky. They’ll dress kinky and skip the panties under a short skirt if you’re going out on the town. They believe in doing it and doing it often!
- Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
You can turn on a Cappie just by breathing on them. They are strong and responsible and have dignity. But they are too easy to turn on sometimes. And watch out when they are horny, whoever is in the room better have protection. They are natural screamers and leave bite marks. They like to do it in the shower; on the furniture; on other people’s furniture; on other peoples beds…Cars…Tents…boats….yep, if they are in the mood; it could be at the President’s inauguration. They like to have the back of their knees licked. This is a misunderstood sign. They can be very kinky. As long as it is with people they love.
- Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Aquarians can turn you on by simply walking in the room. They are the Rain Man of the Zodiac. They like kinky. They are easy going. To them, it’s a learning experience. Male Aquarians like to tease and live life in a fantasy world. Female Aquarians can’t masturbate enough. Males never get the chance to masturbate because everybody wants a piece of them. They like their ankles nibbled. They love back massages. Don’t expect faithfulness from these creatures; its just not in their DNA. They enjoy the act in groups of three. Never take one on a trip to home when you are both horny. This can lead to nasty things.
- Pisces (Feb. 19- Mar 20)
Pisceans are the leaders in foot fetish. Masturbation in shoes? Okay. Toe masturbation? Bring it on! They love using their feet. Suck on a Pisceans toes and see what happens! Pisces men break furniture when they make out. Things get flung everywhere. Pisces can be turned on by the weirdest things…Trains…Water fountains…Jump rope…Whatever. You never can tell what the hell a Pisces will do, but I guarantee that it will be SUPERB!
SECRET: Pisces women fall for a man that can wear a high heel and garter. And look good